It rains

ouch

It rains .  I wander.  The cabin lies in the woods,  20 miles south of the Canadian border. As is always the case it is 3:59 AM.
Always on the cusp of a new day.
Joe and Jenna are in love
Joe and Jenna are getting married.  I've been asked to officiate.  They are already married in the state of Vermont so my officiating  is moot at best.   They are married in the eyes of  the  IRS.  If Joe takes up with a waitress tonight, he'll have some splaining to do. They need some bald old guy to make up stories, seal the deal.

As it turns out, I can't discuss my most ancient  yet touching Joe-related anecdote.
 Joe's a good guy.  He did nothing wrong really.  He made the mistake of being  3 and being attacked by a jellyfish lurking in the Long Island  sound.  It’s an  embarrassing story due to the site of the bite and his horrified  expression.  It’s a sad day for any three year old to suddenly realize that nature doesn’t play fair, that we have a thousand  vulnerabilities.  The story I am able to relate at the wedding  isn't as juicy, it involves his  frolicking nude in his baby sisters’ blow- up pool   Harmless story, I guess,  until some lawyer  colleague tries to discredit Joe by  implying he's the sort of lawyer who spends  his days naked  and potentially drunk in a kiddie pool on a hot summer day

I've done worse.

I mention this because I love Joe.  I mention this story because I am honored that he and Jenna have asked me to officiate at their wedding.  I mention this story because it connects us with one another.

Most important, I mention this because now its 4:30 AM and I am watching the Social Network the Mark Zuckenberg Facebook story. Im sitting in our cabin, watching  Mark’s life unfold on my I pad and think “  Well,  Mr Big shot  Billionaire,  no one asked you to talk about  all the close connections you’ve made in your life.  Your Billions mean nothing  at the end of the day and you fly  across the world in your private Jet.”
I allow myself 20 minutes of sanctimonious  posturing   and then the Buddists spoil it. As they sometimes do.
I mention this because it's a Koen, an epigram that let's us glance at our  4 15 am selves

I am over whelmed by  glibness, false pride. I allow  myself 30 blessed moments of  self satisfaction, 30 minutes of Sally Field crowing "you like me, you like me."
The moment slips away, thanks to Zen Buddhism.  Zen teaches all possession is theft, whether the bijou in question is a gulf airstream  5 or a dear friend.
Possession is misery. All possession  is misery.
 In the end we are alone.
How do we address this paradox, how do we live in this world of pain?   Tell me quickly, I have to inspire the  newlyweds and I can hear the Sysco truck in the driveway, delivering the ice cream and Champagne.  I have to convince them with a wave of my arms and a false lurking baritone that  life can be wonderful. Otherwise, they definitely over paid for the  make your own sundae bar.

The answer  lies  in the detail, amid  the  angels in the architecture  . we live in  flashes of joy, of hope of memory. We live at weddings, in between chapters of wonderful books. We live in  between courses of delicious food, we live in those five  extra seconds when we realize the last comment  our oldest  and dearest friend made truly was was hysterical.

It goes beyond that.  The message is simple: Sometimes there are wonderful things that wait for us just beyond the corner.  Jelly fish lurk, but so does a perfect italian meal served in a small cafe .  The IRS is just finishing its touches on our subpoena
 but so  too lurks the most wonderful art exhibit at the Met.
We live in the single  precious moments before we realize life is short,  pointless and painful. We live in the 10 minutes  the pain suddenly and inexplicably disappears
We live between jelly fish bites,  in-between the rain drops, we live in the arms of those we love.

The secret? Just know the pain will stop, and in life , despite evidence to the contrary, the jellyfish will give you an occasional break. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll  say a few simple words while officiating at a wedding that  the happy couple will carry for the rest of their lives, long after you’re gone.


I love you, joe and Jenna.